Fish Fry Part 2 – Anableps

This is Part 2 of a 5 part series covering the booklet Some Fishy Stories by Garner Ted Armstrong. You can find Part 1, which includes some introductory material, here.

“Come one, come all, and behold one of the wonders of the world–a four-eyed fish! Hurr-ay, hurr-ay, hurr-ay!”

Well, almost. Just like at carnivals and circuses, the reality doesn’t necessarily live up to the hype. Garner Ted invites us to “think about another of the most amazing creatures on earth…this little fish literally has four eyes!”

Eyeing you up...and down!

Eyeing you up…and down!

Ohhh, so close, and thanks for playing–actually, the fish only has two eyes… Continue reading

Fish Fry Part 1 – Archer Fish

Too many...fish puns...aaahhhhh!

Too many…fish puns…aaahhhhh!

I have written before about the lies we were told, specifically in the PCG, about the Theory of Evolution. In a way, I am at it again, only this time focusing on Armstrong’s lies about it. Specifically, this is the first of a multi-part series covering the Ambassador College booklets A Fishy StoryA Theory for the Birds, and A Whale of a Tale. In my first article, I was not trying to convince anybody that one side of the Great Debate was more true than the other–I was merely pointing out that we were told lies.

In this article, however, I aim to be more persuasive. Continue reading

Ron Fraser: ‘Til the Bitter End

Hot off the press! This just in! Ron Fraser, Pastor-rank Minister (think Pastor…), and chief Historian and News Watcher, has died.

He died of heart problems, or a second heart-attack (I’m not entirely sure which). He had had a pace-maker for years; I remember being in the church when his first heart attack hit and he received the pace-maker. “He’s just too important to the Work”, Mr. Flurry told everyone. Of course, if he was as important as all that, then God would surely have healed him so that he wouldn’t need the pace-maker–but such are the duplicitous standards of the Cult.

Tanta stultitia mortalium est

Tanta stultitia mortalium est

He did a great job as, what I would call, Flurry’s Bulldog–always watching the news for any sign that what his boss was saying, and what he believed bible prophecy taught, was coming true. You can find his last articles here: https://www.thetrumpet.com/columnist/22/ron-fraser (you have to sign up for a free account to theTrumpet.com website to read everything).

A member of the Old Guard is passed. Though I liked him very much in my church days, seeing what I have seen through the research done by myself and the others here at AD (disproving British Israelism, for instance, or showing that the incessant scare-mongering about Germany is completely bunk), and thus recognizing the powerful untruths he has battered so many with, I can’t suppress a feeling of:

Good Riddance.

Just What Do You Mean, “Blessings of Abraham”?

Sarai had even tried luring him with promises of raunchy sex, but it was no use: Abram was definitely addicted to sky porn.

Sarai had even tried luring him with promises of raunchy sex with a real woman (her handmaid, Hagar), but it was no use: Abram was addicted to the sky porn.

For anyone who has been paying attention, it is now a trivial matter to appreciate that British-Israelism is a failed hypothesis. Some contend, however, that there is still some explaining to do with regard to the supposed “blessings of Abraham”. How did Britain and America become so great, they ask, if it weren’t for the “promise of race” given to Abraham by old Yahweh? It should go without saying that such reasoning is completely backwards (the required genetic connection between Europeans and this apocryphal patriarch of the Hebrews–or, more to the point, to the Hebrews themselves–has been shown to be thoroughly, exactly, and precisely nonexistent–and yet they want to know how we could have such shiny toys if the connection doesn’t exist–boggles the mind, really). In any event, whether the fortunes of modern nations can be explained by recourse to an ancient prophesy (uttered by an invisible man in the sky to a bronze age sheepherder who probably himself never existed) is considered to be a separate question (and the real proof of British-Israelism) for some, and always was a mainstay of Armstrongism. And that latter fact means we have some scrutiny to spare for the claim.

Continue reading

Torah to Tampons

women

It should not be a big surprise that the churches spawned from Herbie Armstrong’s teachings would choose to interpret the bible in a way that generally denigrates women. Much of the doctrine of “the church” seems to have stemmed from his own personal misgivings about things such as going to the doctor, military service, and—of course—women. After all, women in the bible typically fill the roles of wives, mothers, and daughters. In their relation to male figures, they are given their own unique voice within the biblical realm, but it is one that mostly revolves around familial ties and responsibilities. The vast majority of women in the bible are characters who act in supporting roles while the men produce action, and the teachings of the COGs reflect that about women.

The assumption that the bible discriminates against women is largely based on two accounts: Eve’s creation and the words of Paul in books such as 1 Corinthians and Colossians.

Continue reading…

This Old Pope

The big news of the day, Monday, February 11, 2013, is that Pope Benedict XVI is resigning. Not only is this a surprise to just about everyone, but it is made more surprising since a Pope hasn’t resigned in about 600yrs—since Gregory XII in 1415.

Of course, as fascinating as the whole thing might be, that is not why we are here. We are here because Pope Benedict the Sixteenth was ushered in with such dire fanfare by the Philadelphia Church of God way back in 2005. 

The Force is strong with this one...

The Force is strong with this one…

Continue reading

Paperback Writer–A Review of Wade Fransson’s “The People of the Sign”

coverIt’s a dirty story of a dirty man–well, for the first hundred pages or so. Wade Fransson’s The People of the Sign is essentially a coming-of-age story set to Beatles song titles. That is, the chapters and the subheadings within each chapter of the book are titled after Beatles songs, most of which do a relatively good job of relating to the subsequent content. Some, though, require a bit of creative stretching (e.g., a recounting of Fransson’s ultimately less-than-fateful meeting with a prominent Swedish media personality comes under the heading of “Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite”).

Born to a meat-and-p0tatoes Swedish immigrant father and an alcoholic mother who married too young, Wade Fransson’s early life was plagued by all the hallmarks of familial dysfunction, eventually culminating in divorce and custody disputes. At the tender age of nine he and his two sisters became the “victims” of the most common type of kidnapping: their father stopped by while their mother was out and said, “Come on, kids, let’s go to the mall!” But by “the mall”, he meant “Sweden”.

… Continue reading…